Taking a leap.

If there's one thing that I've learned through college, nursing school, and nursing in general is that stress = sickness. Maybe not right now, maybe not in this moment, but it inevitably catches up with you. I believe that's why I've been on the couch for a day and a half. At least the company is good.

Monday morning, after my Sunday night shift, I took a leap. I told my boss that I would no longer be able to work at Maryvale because I was going back to school. I have been dreading this since I found out I got in and decided to go full time. My boss is a nice but kind of harsh british lady that I met while the unit was preparing for Joint Commission visits (the hospital accreditation committee who 'sneak attacks' hospital units looking for mistakes).  Needless to say, she was slightly stressed and I became a little intimidated. I've built up how I was going to do this for a few weeks now and I've been absolutely dreading it. It's been so hard because I'm still on orientation (training with a preceptor). I'm going to quit before I was ever carrying a real load on my own and actually helping the unit out. I've been feeling so guilty because they really gave me a shot when I was desperate for a job and I've been so appreciative. 

I was ready (I had written my letter of resignation letter and two cards for my day and night shift preceptors) and knew I had to do it Monday morning (school starts in exactly two weeks!) but I was so scared. As my shift came to a close I thought I was going to vomit all over the place, but when it came down to it, she was actually really nice. She said she was sad to lose me and that she was really happy with my progress. She said it sounded like a great opportunity. I am beyond relieved to have that over with. I'm not the type of person that does what's best for her regardless of what the consequences are to others and one of my main roadblocks to even deciding I would go back to school was this job and the fact that I hadn't been there very long. 

Whew. Now I can move forward and get everything together for school. My financial aid has been processed (don't even ask) and those funds should be in soon. Then I can buy books and get my butt studying. 

If only I could kick this stomach bug.

Love,

Ash + V