Blessings.

I was thinking of blogging a bunch about day two of orientation (which was pretty average). In fact, I'll go ahead and say that I learned a lot about Maryvale, did some nurse-y stuff (cool!), and got an official badge (that says RN AND BSN on it....because I busted my butt for that second part!). I'll post photos and more later. But for now I have to share a story that I have been keeping up with for a bit now. As a nurse and now a wife (and a someday mother), I feel so engrossed in her experience.

First you should know: I have a slightly unhealthy obsession with Mormon housewife blogs. One could argue many reasons, like this self proclaimed 'feminist obsessed with reading mormon housewife blogs'. Maybe we enjoy a break from our lives by watching amazingly sweet photos of joyful motherhood in an Anthropologie catalog unfold before our eyes. Maybe we enjoy seeing people have so much fun being married, since (and as a newlywed, I think I have the authority to say this) people have nothing but NOT nice things to say about being married these days. Maybe I like trolling for new styles and outfit ideas ('cause these ladies are CUTE). For whatever the reason, I follow a few (including that of our AMAZING wedding photographers, the Langs) and really enjoy reading them.

The Nielson Family 2008, Blue Lily Photography

One day, while enjoying this new hobby of mine, I came across the blog of Stephanie Nielson or 'Nie Nie' as she affectionately refers to herself in the blogisphere. A Utah/Arizona (Mesa) resident, her blog, The Nie Nie Dialogues, was started in 2004 as a cutesy mommy blog and chronicled her life as a young (first one at 20, four by 23, mormonnormal) mommy and wife. I read through the old stuff first and read posts about her life with beautiful pictures of her and her family. In August 2008, she and her husband were flying in a small private plane in Arizona with a friend from church piloting when the plane crashed. Their friend and pilot died. Her husband, Christian, suffered burns on his face and neck, while Stephanie was severely burned over 80% of her body. They were both treated for months at Maricopa Medical Center, right down the street from my house. It houses the only burn center in Arizona and acts as a regional burn center for severe cases from Utah and New Mexico. They were treated there until they could return to their home in Provo, Utah and to their four lovely children.

It has been about two and a half years since their accident and Nei Nei still blogs faithfully about her life, her adorable/hysterical kids, her wonderful husband, her treatments, her pain, her joy, her faith, and what a blessing it is to be able to wake up each morning next to the people who mean the most to you. I feel like I went through a definite period of self-loathing during my 8 month job hunt and found it far too easy to forget about the miracles that were staring me in the face every day: getting to marry my everything, having found a beautiful and affordable home to live in, my soon-to-be-husband having the opportunity to fulfill his dream of serving others through medicine. I watch her story and read her blog and as a nurse I can truly appreciate the ongoing process that is both physical and emotional healing. Stephanie will have surgeries for years and years to come and will deal with pain every day. However, watching her enjoy decorating her house with her kids for Valentine's Day and taking snuggle naps with her husband gives me so much pride in what I have chosen to do with my life. Patients go home and enjoy life and it's the BEST! I also feel so much humility as I have no grounds to declare my life a struggle. Even if it feels that way sometimes.

Nielson Family 2010, Blue Lily Photography

Reading Stephanie's words is like taking a look through a new pair of glasses. When I read her words I see a moment in life that was nearly missed and is thus savored all the more completely. I feel so grateful to have a chance to experience life. I feel honored at the thought of being someone's mother someday, to have the privilege of enjoying my children and watching them grow (which is what motherhood truly is to her). I hug my husband every day and kiss him square on the mouth. Every day. And tell him I'm in love with him. Every day. I feel like I savor moments on the couch with the dog now like I might savor a day in Disneyland before, because it is a chance to be and feel and love that I have! What a gift! A chance that was almost taken away from Stephanie and that she savors every day, on the good days and the bad.

You can read (and fall in love with...I DARE you not to) Stephanie's blog here. I hope that no matter what your religious beliefs are, you can appreciate a story about love and strength and miracles and hope and a different outlook on life. I know her blog found me right around the time that my attitude needed a swift kick in the pants. I hope maybe she can kick you in the pants too.

And please remember (and never forget)...
That I love you. And Christian loves you. Very much. Thanks for being the people we love and loving us back. We are thankful.

XO,
Ash

Watch Stephanie's story below. Despite its intention as a mormon message, it comes across to me as a faith message. And a people message. And a love message.

P.S. The part that makes my nurse heart shiver every time I hear it is near the beginning of the video. "I am Stephanie Nielson, and I am not my body." We all are so much more than that and as healthcare workers patients should always be treated accordingly. Thanks for the reminder, Nie Nie.